Reluctance Vs inertia.

What’s the difference between the two? One is a lack of willingness, the other a lack of initial movement. What if i’m experiencing both? But i guess that which you are most unwilling to do implies the colossal significance of it. One that changes your life for good. I hate decisions that alter your path and derail you completely. But what choice do i have?

Have been reflecting on this statement: “By being who you are, you will only lose those you love.” When the 2 people you love most say the same thing to you in less than a year, the issue has got to be me eh? But i already knew that. And i warned you i wasn’t ready for a relationship. Coz the current me will only lose you till i am not me. Love is not enough, apparently. Nevertheless, it is fundamental. And love without sacrifice means nothing. So please go, and be happy. Make my sacrifice worth it. I have so much to say, yet so few options to express myself for you don’t trust me. So let these lyrics from Air Supply speak for me… (Especially the words in bold)

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I’ll never criticize
All you’ve ever meant to my life

I don’t want to let you down
I don’t want to lead you on 
I don’t want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I’m not sure i’m worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don’t want to let you down
I don’t want to lead you on 
I don’t want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to say but goodbye

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to try
Though it’s gonna hurt us both
There’s no other way than to say goodbye

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~ by l!Nd@ on June 7, 2010.

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